how i made new friends as an adult alone in a new city.

coming to this two years late as i’m prepping to move to a new city AGAIN, but here is how i made friends this past move:
1. gym classes
2. taekwondo classes
3. rock climbing
4. run club
for the less active people
4. rec center activites (mostly pottery)
5. book club
6. movie club
7. literally commented in this girls hair, we got into a long conversation, and i ended up inviting her to my dinner plans later that day. two years later and we’re still besties 😇

A way to make yourself more approachable is to get off your phone. If you feel bored, then be bored!

Here's a summary of all the key points from the video on making new friends in a new city as an adult:

- Accept being alone and avoid comparing yourself to others.
- Develop an abundance mindset to overcome fear and FOMO.
- Engage in solo activities like artist dates and setting boundaries.
- Utilize social media and be selective in your connections.
- Understand your social capacity and plan social activities in advance.
- Embrace the idea that it takes time and effort to make new friends.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others as it can be counterproductive.
- Engage in activities to enjoy your time alone, such as artist dates and exploration.
- Use affirmations to shift your mindset and overcome negative thoughts about your social life.
- Stay connected with people from your hometown and value those relationships.
- Reframe negative thoughts and focus on building connections.
- Overcome fear and FOMO through setting boundaries and self-care.
- Explore various avenues to meet potential friends, including mutual connections and activities.
- Find common interests and be open to new experiences when meeting new people.
- Overcome challenges in building relationships by creating recurring events or routines.
- Use social media to engage with others and maintain relationships.
- Set reminders to follow up with new acquaintances and be consistent in maintaining connections.
- Be yourself when interacting with others to build authentic relationships.
- Address the challenges of setting up recurring hangouts with new friends by creating routines and shared interests.
- Text new friends after the first hangout to reaffirm the enjoyment and potentially make future plans.
- Understand the importance of systemic factors, like capitalism, contributing to feelings of loneliness and social isolation.
- Seek additional insight on the topic by listening to thoughtful friends and podcasts.
- Consider understanding your own social capacity and being selective about the people you spend your time with.
- Don't hesitate to cut people out of your life if they aren't beneficial in the long run.
- Value the relationships you have back home and maintain connections with those people even when in a new city.

These points cover various aspects of making new friends as an adult in a new city, from mindset and self-care to practical strategies and maintaining connections.

For those of you who have moved to a new city... is Bumble BFF a place to find high-quality friends? I've had such mixed results

this video was extremely helpful !!

Thank you sooooooooo much for this!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I moved to a small town after being displaced due to a fire. It's been six years and I still have no friends. There's no meetup groups and my religion and interests don't exist here. I've been so depressed. I've finally found full time work with a temp agency. I'm just going to leave next year and get a job through the same temp agency. I'm still sad but I'm glad that I've found a way out. I've never felt loneliness like this.

(PLEASE DON'T READ THIS WRONG) I see where you're coming from with a good amount of this video, but the only thing that I'm not following is the cause of our loneliness, and it's not so much that I'm 'anti-anything', as much as it just makes no sense. Because you having a fear to meet with new people, or a fear to make new friends is more a personal and separate content from the outside world, meaning if you decide to avoid people, that's on you: not because tiktok isn't a clock, not because Biden isn't being Biden, not because we're "divided politically", and not because the system we created (that provides us services) has flaws. The world is filled with conflict, but that doesn't mean there's no good we're learning from that conflict. Heck, this video PROVES that. And, it's just weird to say that "system + followers = everyone's brainwashed." I know that's not what you said, but I hope you get my point. That being that capitalism has nothing to do with the fact someone has fears to make friends, sometimes that fear comes from unhealthy upbringings, or a history bad relationships, or even a habitual habit of putting someone down before you even talk to them. Again though, that's on you... Good video! Nothing against you or anyone else! :)

I love this video, its soo informative, and on point.

This video was really helpful
Thank you for the tips and insights 👍

Omg all the hobbies you listed “art, kayaking, mushroom foraging”, we would totally be friends! I just moved away from Seattle last year. I wish we could have met! :/ I now in live Phoenix after living in Seattle my whole life, and it definitely gets lonely at times. I’ve made some awesome friends through work though(:

I have just moved to a new city. I know literally no one

I'm fairy introverted. So I'm very comfortable being alone. But It's important to have friends/ social aspects

We all really need to know, where did you find your beautiful sweater? :)

Seattle is probably the worst place to socialize. Seattle is cold, dark, depressing, wet, grey, people are passive aggressive, hyper-liberal, and the city is known for the "Seattle-freeze", meaning people are "nice" but don't actually want to be friends. I suggest moving elsewhere. This comes from someone who was born and raised in Seattle and after 32 years moved to Florida.

Also: this made me think of a Krista Tippet quote, "I can’t name the day when I suddenly realized that the lack of love in my life was not a reality but a poverty of imagination and the carelessly narrow use of an essential word.”

I worry I'm too comfortable being alone. I go on trips by myself (NYC for my birthday, Chicago for Christmas shopping) and I don't even think about it being abnormal. I'll even go to a busy restaurant and ask for a table in the middle of it all -- usually they're happy to oblige and the energy of the room makes me feel at home, like, I'm white noise. All that to say: I'm becoming so accustomed to being alone that I'm starting to forget how friendships work!

One thing I learned is to find something you really wanna do and ask someone to go. That way it'll be good no matter what since you wanted to do it and it also takes the pressure off of the relationship all by itself. Like getting coffee is great but going to the bookstore could be better. Getting coffee is basically let's just talk while shopping is more active and can be fruitful whether you click or not. Or doing something more fun like an event or festival since those can be hard to go to alone.

new friiend full watching

Moved to a new city 2 weeks ago and my mom is already nervous that I don’t have any friends here lol. I’m auditioning for a musical in a few weeks which is where I usually make friends so HOPEFULLY I get cast lol

Capitalism got you bad lmaoo

damn that's just 30 minutes of blah blah blah... :(

there were so many valuable lessons shared in this video and i feel like i came across it in such an important time in my life. Thakn you for sharing 🫂

DONT ISOLATE ..DONT FEEL ALONE ..IM 47 LOOKING FOR NEW FRIEND IN SW LONDON. INTO NATURE. SPORTS . RIDE A BIKE AT NIGHTS . WALKS .DEEP CONVERSATIONS.

I want to be your friend and you’re from Seattle?!?!?

My problem is hanging out with people who are not growing in anyway I just can’t .
I rather be alone.

I just wanna know how everyone in these comments and stuff can afford to live in Seattle lol! That’s my dream but instead I moved to Houston because it’s affordable. I’m kind of on the outskirts in the suburbs too but I’m thinking of moving into the city when my lease is up to be closer to things. The loneliness sucks and having no friends/family and I’m someone who actually loves being alone and is a homebody. I think it’s not having the option and not being able to call up a friend for coffee. My parents and good friends live in Chicago and I’m debating moving just to feel like I have a support system, though I don’t really want to live there.. I would if I could afford a high rise in the city buttt I cannot lol

What do you know? To make friends, you only have two options. You dominate or you suck up. You can only have a friendship when two people are unequal.

Was with ya until the capitalism bull crap

I love how youve added many people, its a great way to show that noones alone in feeling alone, its a thing felt by many people around the world.

Didn't get to anything good before you started rambling about some investment crap!!!

I'm blocking your poop.

This is great advice. Thank you! Picking up the book you mentioned this week!

This was super helpful, thank you!

The part about loving yourself and being ok with being alone is super crucial. You are right about capitalism too. I spent some time in a poor community in Colombia and the people were so tight knit and very friendly. Friends came extremely easily while I was there and I'm sure a large portion of that is because I was rare and exotic to them but I think it's also because people that are poor tend to find ways to thrive and they do that by depending on each other.

I have lived in the area I relocated to for 3 years now and still don’t have any friends.

I’m a Communist. I’m blue collar in an urban way. I’ve been beaten down by capitalist hella times.

Having just moved to Seattle, I've been struggling to figure out how to make friends. Stumbled upon this video and it has truly helped me adopt a much more positive framework. Thank you all.

Omg you seem like such a sweet person I would love to be your friend ❤

I cant tell you how helpful this is. Actual practical things to do and SAY. I fucking hate when ppl say ‘join a club’ - yea ok AND THEN WHAT!!! Lol

One day, if I keep working hard, I hope I can have friends too. Thank you for the video.

Hey! Taking your advice to heart do you know anyone in the bay area who would be fun to hang out with? I moved here like 1.5 years ago and have 1 solid friend. I live with my partner and struggle feeling like I'm a burden to them because of my lack of friends.

Right now I am in a very low point in my life, just bad things keep happening to me. It's so hard for me to make friends and that's just really overwhelming, I don't want to be alone. I want to be happy just like everyone else. I just keep wondering what is wrong with me

Thank you for your vidéo! I've just moved to London, UK 🇬🇧 you are so right about the mindset

Hi, I just wanna ask is it creepy or wrong to approach new people? (I.e cold approaching)

Awesome video!! I am from the Bay Area as well and had good friends there. Once I moved up to the country, I just haven’t met anyone:(
But I’m hopeful still.. your video has inspired me 🌹

Step1... Be a bangin' hot chick who can get away with wearing an ugly sweater because of her sparkling eyes. The end. Doesn't matter what you do or say, the game is rigged in your favor. On the flipside, as a dude, you don't have a prayer. If you didn't sit with someone a at the 8th grade lunch table or whatever, no one will give you the time of day NO MATTER WHAT. You will either come across as a serial rapist if you try to talk to random females...or playing for the 'other team' if you talk to other guys. Develop a relationship with your X-box or whatever, because at least you'll always have something to come home to.

Yoooooo
Why are so relatable 😂😂😂
Great content!

I've done this 3-4x in my life.
They keys - the first 6-9 months is about going to any event you can, and meeting as many folks as you can.
Then, start throwing your own events...small ones. Game night, sports outings, meeting at a bar, etc.
By month 12-15, you'll be the center of attention.
Then, in year 2, you focus on filtering out the riff raff, and finding 2-3 good people in the group of 50 you met.