#ASPERGERS AND NARCISSISM - #Autism And #Narcissism | The Aspie World

I think Aspies may be a little more self-centered- I know I am. I take that that to mean that we relate to people by comparing their experience to ours. And not letting other people have a word in edgewise seems like a symptom of extreme focus and inability to pick up on others’ disinterest, as well as the how intense our interest in a topic can be. And I don’t think autistic people particularly enjoy talking about themselves, as being the center of attention can be overwhelming. Personally, I love talking about my experiences, interests and opinions. I’ve seen a different tendency in the narcissists I know- they love talking about their VALUE. “I’m so this or that,” or “ I’d never do that or always do this,” or, “You think that’s good, well..” And they view other people’s experiences based on how it AFFECTS them, rather than how it relates to them. For example, when a certain celebrity told about an old man that was injured, and how gross it was that he almost touched him. Just my $.02.

So what to look for AS / NPD commorbidity??

As I understand it, ADHD/ADD is indeed often "comorbid" with autistic spectrum disorder, but it is not in itself on the autistic spectrum.

Narcissism can be a feature of autistic spectrum disorders, but that is not (necessarily) the same as having narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

It would seem to me that any time someone with autism doesn't appear to be empathetic from the outside, it's more likely that we've failed to understand from those stupid non-verbal cues how someone feels. A narcissist may get those clues and not be particularly worried about how someone else feels but I can see why that would look the same from an outside observer. I also think that narcissists do actually care how other people feel about them, just maybe not how they feel about other people or things.

I caught fiancé paying for a membership to a website where he was messaging Gay men and having extremely sexual conversations with them. He also bought a $1,400 sex doll behind my back. This is the second time i have caught him emotionally cheating on me with strangers on the internet. He swears it is just to get admiration because he says he feels so inferior to everyone else. I think it is narcissism and bound to happen again. What do you think?

OMG I was looking for this info for so song. I've noticed that my husband seems to have Aspergers (not diagnosed but his dad was which makes him more possible to have it) but I also started see some covert narcissistic traits in him, which made me super confused. There's not much info on this corelation between narcissism and autism so thank you.

I believe my father is on the autism spectrum but he uses narcissism to mask. It's unfortunate that he never learned how to relate to his children and was only interested in his special interests. And now, I am questioning whether I am also autistic, but I can't ask him things because we have pretty much no relationship. It would be great if I could find out if we are both autistic. It would make a lot of things make sense and help me heal a lot of my childhood neglect.

The one I love to watch in action is the Narcist with other issues too... they deny all of it. "I can't have a mental disability or illness! Are you crazy?! How dare you. That's the most impossible ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

i'm gay now ._.

Glad that someone has said this, as most people are so adamant that people on the spectrum cannot have Narcissism. I don't know about NPD and Autism together but I think personally from my own experience in dealing with someone like that, they can be a narcissist. I am on the spectrum myself just for reference, but I have had a relationship with someone else who is on the spectrum and this person is not like other aspies I have met. They caused a lot of emotional damage and they have a lot of narcissistic traits as well as having Autism. I'm not a psychologist or anything, so this is simply my own opinion but I'd say that they are the cerebral kind of covert narcissist but they are also like a failed narcissist due to having Autism i.e. they cannot be as successful socially as they would otherwise. Because of their particular type of Autism, they are quite introverted and do not go out much, so they generally are not a problem on the larger scale, but the issues occur when they get into relationships with others. This person liked to put me down all the time and always had to be above me. They did use gas-lighting techniques and made me doubt myself a lot. They definitely seem like a narcissist to me, but I think that this type of narcissist is less common and would be hard to diagnose. If someone already has a diagnosis of Autism then I don't see how they would get diagnosed as a Narcissist as well. But they are very grandiose about them-self and can never admit to being wrong. Now I have noticed in some Autistic people that it can be hard to admit when wrong, myself included, but I will usually admit it after reflection. This person never does and they are on the "high functioning" end of the spectrum, so they are able to think and reason for themselves. I think that this is a very interesting topic and needs to be looked into and studied on a larger scale. :)

People with NPD don't improve their self esteem by earning praise from others. Narcissists tear down and abuse others so that their self esteem becomes less than the narcissist's.

What wonderful content you create:)
I’m in the process of trying to get my daughter diagnosed and am finding it quite the process. Mainly getting professionals to understand the difference between how males and females present. My daughter is 13.
Thanks again for your content, it has helped me to gain a far better understanding of autism. 👍

I can easily see how one could lead to the other if someone on the spectrum tried too hard to play the social game. Inconsistent validation (which seems inevitable if social rules are largely guessed at) is apparently an excellent way to create a narcissist.

Not long ago, I had the stomach to read Elliot Rodger’s manifesto, and traits from both conditions come out screaming. If you actually follow his narration, it is plainly obvious that this came about as a result of him trying to use his limited hardware to succeed in one of the most intensely competitive (in terms of social status) environments on the planet. Romantic relationships were primarily just a status symbol. You also hardly hear about any authority advising Elliot to focus instead on his strengths, which made it that the only game he knew was one in which he would alway lose by default. It’s easy to see how no one could tolerate that indefinitely.

Sadly, I am hearing vague suggestions that the best way to address this problem is to ever more smother everyone with social expectations. To prejudge anyone “standoffish” as “narcissistic.” Whatever other assets you have are to subordinated to the all-important question of whether “we” (the hyper-communalists) “like” you. As if it were necessary to “put them in their place” by aggressively reminding them of how little regard you have for that “place.”

Well I am confused by the line of whether or not I am self absorbed or just don't know what to talk about other than myself, what am I supposed to say to my friends I ask them for song rec. Movies ect. Which is pretty short and uneventful so I tend to share experiences, especially with how are you I dont give them a flat answer cause I enjoy talking to people but they dont do the same and it's really sad but I'm trying to be open so they can be too, so I guess my objective is enclusive, but I come off self absorbed. I don't want to fish for compliments, Im just looking for your engagement for you to share and fuel the rocket to lift off 🥲

I have just been diagnosed with ASD. But due to growing up in a bitchy drama field competitive family, I somewhat second-guess the diagnosis. All the people I see assure me it is autism (i’m far too honest lol).
I believe there’s a special place for people who live on lies.✌🏻

Pretty sure my mother is a narcissist to some degree. Suffice it to say we are a fine match, when I'm an (undiagnosed) aspie :) She gets exhausting to be around; she constantly does things for other people, but then get pissy when she doesn't receive the praise she thinks she inherently deserves for it. As I've asked her, "if your sole intention is to get praise for this, why do you do it? If you can't cope with not receiving that praise, don't do it." I usually prefer managing my own affairs, making my own food and so on (and have done so for most of my life), so we've clashed with each other a lot throughout life. Oh, and she's also a gaslighter, so I never feel like I can open to and be myself around her. At this point, I keep her at an arm's length away from me, because it has backfired when I've let her too close in the past.

Sometimes they are more empathic.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder aren’t just self centred - they are manipulative and destructive. They know they do harm but they still do it anyway. They are not harmless.

Yep, definitely see JORDIEs1 here 🤣

Has anyone with aspergers found they are a magnet for narcissist partners due to their naivety in not being able to see the narcissists true colours?

It is my personal opinion that ADHD is the true beginning of the autism spectrum. Specifically the inattentive variety (comorbid for me to. If anything it delayed my aspergers diagnosis)

I have high functioning Aspergers and I struggle a lot with empathy

I’ve learned how to read peoples character through the way they present themselves. I’ve noticed I can spot covert narcissism from a mile away (the people with selfish and sneaky intentions).

I work in finance, which means majority of my colleagues are high powered, ego driven macho men. I have been on the receiving end of their narc demands but I have never seen so much abuse and received so much pain than the aspie partner I was w/ for less than 2 years. I have never encountered meltdowns, rage, erratic driving to put my life in danger, extreme secrets to a point I dont even wanna know cause im afraid it will break me. Being with an aspie made me believe there really is a God, because only through God I will be able to break free from the abuse.

Hi. I know someone that does not want to admit to being Autistic. How sad. This person is a genius. I feel it is a gift with a few hurdles. I wondered if you fancy doing a health experiment with me? I noticed when I gave this person a daily smoothie this person was much calmer and happier I cured my Asthma with plants. My Councillor has asked me to join his Independent Council. If I get in I want to carry out Independent health studies.

I've done a lot of research and feel Health Diaries are a way forward.

The problem with narcissism/autism is that the autism can give people an excuse for the narcissism. The major differences between the two come from the fact that there are different drives behind the behaviours. It's true that narcissists have extremely low self worth and insecurity, but they abuse others in order to protect themselves and that cannot be enabled. You are a bit incorrect about the empathy deficit - narcissists do have cognitive empathy, they understand emotions and are interested in them when it benefits them but otherwise don't care. People with autism do care if people explain emotions to them, they just don't immediately understand them. Yes, both are mental health issues but narcissism is far more damaging to others and should not be enabled or excused, unlike ASD, which does require understanding. The worst that can happen is that someone remains in an abusive relationship because they dismiss narcissistic abuse as autism and someone can leave a relationship with someone with ASD because they think their partner is a narcissist. It's essential to understand the difference fully.

As a high functioning slightly Aspie person, I don’t start thinking I might carry narcissistic traits until I start reading d comments. Omg I don’t know what it is but I cant handle denseness on any level unless it’s wrapped up in complete humbleness. But random comments from random people with narrow minded opinions that are unresearched incorrect and riddled with inexperience is a trigger and the thoughts which crawl through my loathing mind in those very moments as I restrain to leave a seething comment sends me into theory that I could def have narcissistic traits.
Why can’t I handle any level of dumbassness😩WHYYY???

I’m on the autistic spectrum and I possess some narcissistic personality traits and prefer to be alone and away from most people

I’m undiagnosed, but I have Asperger’s 1000000% I’m grateful for coming across your Channel,
You’ve opened my eyes to many things..
🔥🔥☀️🔆☀️

I'm fairly certain I have a lot of narcissistic defenses and I'm VERY sensitive to criticism and conflict. I just played a game of Dota and a guy on the other team BM'd me early on for not finding his wards. Sprayed a "feeder" tag on the ground. From that point on I developed a bit of a grudge and starting all chatting him. I killed him soon after and we won the lane easily, so I said "wow not finding your wards is killing us". Later on as we had the game pretty much in the bag I said that if he's gonna insult his opponents then he can at least be good. I told him I usually try to respect my opponents (true) and that to have someone brag and insult people over something inconsequential and then not even play well is insulting. He then played the "I have a real life" card saying he'd rather have a beautiful wife and child than be good at a video game, and bragged about playing rugby at a high level, calling me a loser etc. Then I told him he's probably a bad dad and is gonna raise a cocky ****head like himself and to live his life like his kid is watching. After the game he did the typical macho "Hey keyboard warrior come meet me and say that to my face" card.

Once the rage settled I feel horrible for what I said, calling someone a bad father over a video game. It was disproportionate. But at the same time, he started it. I did the same in school when people would bully me. I would just unload a bunch of very personal horrible shit to make them back off. I feel like covert narcissism kind of goes hand in hand with high functioning autism. Like I have to defend what little self esteem I have very aggressively.

That’s my spouse; he’s unempathetic towards me as his wife but will gladly be empathetic towards our middle teenage daughter. He’s on the autism spectrum with narcissistic tendencies.

My psychologist thinks i might have both now I'm doing bunch of research

There's a big difference between Asperger's syndrome and narcissism. My 27 year old daughter has Asperger's syndrome. She cares deeply about others. She is one of the most empathic people I know. She often has difficulty expressing her concerns for others but believe me she has concerns for them.

My boss is a huge narcissist! He is totally not capable of empathy. The only person he is remotely interested in is himself and he assumes everyone else feels the same way about him. He loves being the center of attention, whereas people with Asperger's typically hate being the center of attention. Narcissism is one of the most destructive personality defects there is...just after after schizophrenia and anti social personality disorder. Where as autistic and Asperger's people are some of the most caring people I have ever met.

Narcissists go out of their way to be cruel to people.

Your message is very good. But speaking so quickly the words are inter lapping as if it’s one long on going statement. And importance of your message won’t be as effective. Please speaking with pauses and messages will have more impact. Thank you

I can not believe that ACTUAL narcissists can comprehend low self opinion.

I had a girlfriend who had this, she twisted conversations like ehm..
I needed help fast and it was urgent , me will get angry because she told me do to it myself because she doesn't feel like it.
And then pretends i am crazy angry person because i told her what a dick move it is to not help out when i really needed it...and it was not a big deal for her to help either i just asked her to look up a street address so i could order a taxi so i would not get stuck on the train station in -2 Celsius freezing after a 24 hour shift with no sleep.
And guess what...i had to sleep out in the cold...she left and turned of her phone and went to sleep back at her apartment leaving me stranded.
Wonderfull.
Next day she told me ah its not a big problem i slept on a translation before to, and you are a grown man you should know how to get back home yourself.
Well the public transport was striking so there were no trains and busses at that time and she knew, and i that's why i wanted to order a taxi so i could take the last train and not get stranded.
I just wanted her to help me out because i was so tired i could not remember the Address and told het wtf is wrong with you why are you doing this right now, you want me to sleep in the freezing cold...well i got my answer.
Broke up after that.

I have NPD and high-functioning autism, and I gotta say, it fucking sucks. It feels like I've lived my whole life in a bubble. If I open up to people, I'm immediately met with rejection. I spend most of my days alone, not that I want to be, it's torture. I want to be a good person more than anything, but I just can't understand people at all. Social interaction is very confusing. It's often very hard just to have faith that things might get better. I'd love to stop thinking so obsessively about myself but it's so hard-wired in me that I don't feel like I have much of a choice.

The issue with narcissism is the methods they use to get the praise they desire.

You're just assholes. Pick your label. Its still the same smelly hairy hole.

How could ADHD be on the autism spectrum if it's a separate, comorbid disorder? That's pretty problematic and confusing for people.

That's not what spectrum means. NPD diagnosis is not dependent on autism being present.

From ky experience Aspis ate some of the loat narcissistic people I know.
Lots of gaslighting, manipulation....

Unfortunately, I think alot of people with asbergers, tend to gravitate towards narcissism in their relationships because of their sense of self as being very important. Even though asbergers tend to be shy, they can still gravitate towards covert narcissism to manage their relationships out of fear they will be left. Low self worth narcissim

The music is too distracting 😂

The comorbidity of ADHD and Autism is asymmetrical. A lot of people, who are diagnosed with autism, will also get an ADHD diagnosis in the course of their lives. Yet bot mwny people with diagnosed ADHD get an autism diagnosis later on. And while symptoms of ADHD are often prevalent in people with autism, wutistic traits are not a typical byproduct of ADHD.
There are theories about ADHD and autism being rooted in the same generic cause, they are still very distinct.
So, I don't think it makes sense to think of people with ADHD being on the spectrum. Both groups have many similar, but also many very distinct challenges in life. I don't think it's particularly helpful, particularly in the pursuit of problem solving.
Though it definitely leads to some similar experiences, living in a world not made for either of us.