The WRONG THERAPIST: How to Tell When It's Not a Fit.

As a therapist myself, I agree with every single thing she said 1000%. Therapy is a process, but it is time limited and directed toward validating feelings and also taking action, setting boundaries, and making appropriate changes to heal your trauma. Therapy should not last forever, and your therapist should have a treatment plan outlined when you start therapy, identifying a specific amount of sessions needed to accomplish your goals. Getting a qualified therapist who has been trained in trauma is essential. Don’t ever be afraid to ask someone about their qualifications before agreeing to see them.

I just had my first therapy appointment last week for DBT. At one point, I brought up an eating disorder that I had in the past. Later in the conversation, she asked me if I had any eating issues. Weird, but I repeated myself. It happened again later in the conversation. IDK if it's just because we were going through a lot of my past very quickly, or if that's a red flag. CPTSD makes it hard to discern these kinds of things.

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I hope one day i Will find a good therapist who can understand what is wrong with my mental health and treat me perfectly so that i can live like a normal person( iam always so confused about my feelings , emotions, decisions and like in everything once i did go to Psycatrist last yr i guess and i didn't told him everything about me and my traumas,i just told him about the triggering situation and he diagnosed me with anxiety disorder that i feel is kinda right , i all the time feel anxious sometimes anxiety attacks too and i halso have other issues too , I don't know the issues are included in that or not but feels not related may be bcs of trauma)

I'm like stuck. How do you tell a good therapist they're not a good fit when they genuinely feel they can help you but don't have the knowledge and extra awareness on how to?

This resonates so much. My last therapist would criticize meds but also recommend drinking beer for panic attacks. Also manipulated me into age regression by mimicking my agere ASMR. Felt so wrong and created a lot of anxiety. Been mis dx with bipolar, DID and autism by therapist as well.

Thank you!

thank you so much for this. i've been struggling and blaming myself. my therapists have been lovely, sincere individuals, but i tend to stagnate and feel like i should be doing something.. else. my current therapist is leaving the office, all of a sudden, so now i will be reassigned to someone new. the adventure begins again.... i'll try to keep this stuff in mind, thanks again.

If they talk a lot about their other clients/patients (even if they don’t mention by name). There’s probably a good chance they talk about you to others, even if they don’t mention your name.

Someone summarize it here in the comments. Too long and the videomaker didn't notate the chapters. Thank you

Im curious about your comment regarding when a therapist says its long term therapy. My therapist has said that before but baring in mind shes a trauma therapist and it isnt a quick fix. Im a survivor of childhood sexual grooming. Out if desperation sometimes i just want to well and not Be daily affected by my trauma. She seems a good therapist and i feel like we are slowly making headway but of course sometimes doubt creeps in.

Went to a therapy session. Talked about my Cptsd. How toxic my parents are, how they’ve never cared about me as an individual, have no idea the stress or affect they had and how I don’t talk to them. First thing they did was ask me to email an adhd evaluation form for them to fill out. Talk about a ridiculous oversight. If I had problems, it was due to the ridiculous stress, dread, anxiety and depression they caused during school years. Then, to top it off, I expressed I had depression, immediately it was inferred that I aught not have a hunting license, and if I owned a gun and if it was properly stored. F off, you’re all out of your depth. Never went back. This was St. Joseph’s care group in Thunder Bay ON.

I have watched have their nose in the computer most of the time during the session, or try to commit you immediately against your will. I fired mine yesterday. Never again will I go to these quacks (and yes I know there are some decent ones out there) but I will never bare my soul to someone who doesn't listen, have idiotic answers to things I have already tried, no experience in what I am going through and absolutely no apathy for someone suffering. Never again....

Just go to doctor Victor Blane guys , he is the best therapist.

I’m really worrying that I have a bad therapist, she’s begun to get snappy, she doesn’t feel any emotion on anything I have to say (I know your not supposed to but I say NO emotion, not even sympathy), she says passive aggressive things now and I’m really saddened by it cause I need a therapist I need someone to talk to.

I never had a grasp of real logic, which makes understanding things like quantum mechanics and string theory and i understand them so easily. But figuring out what i want to buy at the gocery store? I get stumped.

I also was nearly killed by my mom and since then i dont know if she actually did kill me. This phone in front of me im typing on?. How do i know its real. I feel it, but thats just electrical signals through the nerves. I can see it, electrical signals through occular nerves. Plus we dont know what comes after death. I dont. Whos to say im not God? In that i am the only being in existence in some void and i am dreaming up this reality because im lonely.

These are all logically sound thoughts to me because i dont just think outside the box, i think outside the universe the box is in. Problem is, this doesnt turn off. "Well stop thinking that way" I CANT!!

Are they just a con job no happy

All my therapists have put the responsibility on me to explain and fix my own issues and have just provided me venting space. When I don’t need to vent I need advice on how to heal.

Disclosing to my therapist enough about my financial situation made me a dollar sign. She was not helping me, and didn't focus on my issues i came to her for and worried more about ridiculous issues that were not really a big deal for me. I had done much more healing via podcasts, reading, meditation etc. I only went for the sake of the extra support but she honest saw me as a dollar sign. The last straw was when she cut my session 15 minutes short. As in a paid for 60 minute session was cut down to 40 minutes.

I had a therapist who was literally running her practice like a cult, and that’s how I found the BITE model.

I went years with a therapist that was similar to a wall. She barely ever said something , she didn't take notes , ok.but when I wanted to talk about a certain topic (being bullied for years) she didn't want me to talk about it. She said "if you want to talk about it, that's because... haven't you gotten over that yet? So that topic I wasn't allowed to talk about. 😒
So that was the "therapy" I had for years. 😢 I could be talking to a wall instead and for free.
I've had more bas experiences. So, That's a reason why I am so picky about therapists. And that's why i find so hard to find a good one.

MIIGWECH 🙏🏽💜 Thank you for your teachings so greatly appreciated as 43 years of trauma even had therapist ask me how I smile due to my trauma 😭 I am sober and loving my best life thanks to ppl like you xo

I’ve had/tried 9 or 10 therapists in 30 years. None understood me and only in the past few years have I learned—online—that I have CPTSD. My current and most recent previous therapist seem physically unhealthy and are severely overweight. So they don’t understand about my body image or my struggle to eliminate unhealthy foods, because they clearly don’t have it figured out for themselves. I don’t mean to be cruel, it’s just that this is another obstacle to finding the right therapist that I didn’t anticipate.

If you’ve never had an effective therapist yourself, how did you achieve mental health?

Hi. I'm going through hell and have severe major depression and am in severe emotional pain and trauma to the point of being physically sick and have had a heart attack and stroke because of the trauma. Today my therapist said we're going to see each other every 2 weeks instead of every week. I told her now wasn't the time to do this. I don't understand why and can't believe it. I like her and don't want to leave. She said 4 things that were the reasons but it doesn't make sense. I hope you answer.

I wish therapists weren’t jokes these days only wanting to talk over a robot computer and clogging their schedules with people who don’t actually need therapy.

I felt really positive about my therapist at first, but lately we seem to not get very ‘deep’ or it seems like she doesn’t get what I’m saying like I’m literally being misunderstood. I definitely feel angry and in despair sometimes, or just not great, and I’ve been spacing out my appointments a ton. I thought I wasn’t being honest enough but it does seem like I don’t know where I’m going from where we’ve been like it seems I’ve hit a ceiling. I’m in therapy for ocd and do ERP stuff, so doubting is my number one issue and is obviously a reason I am hesitant to just drop a therapist before assuming it’s my ocd. I’m struggling with our disagreements, and I don’t know if she gets me, but she also knows a lot about me and starting new is scary.

I just tried a new therapist earlier this month, after my long term therapist retired. I guess I’m more screwed up than she is comfortable with because her office ghosted me when I tried to make another appointment.
Therapy wasn’t getting me anywhere anyway, so at least I’ll save $85 a month.

My therapist judges me :/ they are supposed to have unconditional positive regard and be non judgemental, but I guess that's just a fairytale...

How long should I see a therapist for GAD/anxiety/depression/somatic disorder before I see results or improvement? I know it’s a lot to work on….

I’m over therapy. So over it. I’ve seen a bunch of therapist since I was 8 years old, and they have all let me down in some way. I’m 27 now. I’m currently in therapy, but my therapist frustrates me.

This is a great video and the first one of the crappy childhood fairy. The issue happens when you have an insurance company through the company you work for that only has online therapists and they have a very limited selection at that. This almost makes it impossible, you either have therapy or you don’t.

Im sort of amazed at the fact that Anna didnt heal through therapy! Because I cant for the love of god seem to trust talk therapy and not one single therapist Ive tried felt safe. Could you please let me know how you were able to heal your relational trauma without doing therapy? I really really hate therapy but would like to know there are other options 😭

After 3 months , my therapist recently reffered me out. after every visit he always suggest incrasing my dosage in my medication , when I open up and tell him what is going on with me, it always "I'm so sorry you feel that way, or " I'm sorry you went through that. and hes typing the whole time during our sessions. in the beginning he would adress me by my name , this last sesion he gives me a number to seek more mental health services then refers me to maam !! I felt so dismissed so hurt after I confieded all my deepest secrets and traumas.

I have a real problem with my therapist . I think he make me feel that my words doesn't matter

Please can someone advise how to decipher whether a nice seeming therapist may actually be a lying narcissist.

Tone, behaviour, and reliability all matter, especially in therapy.

You know it's the Wrong Therapist when you have D.I.D and the first thing the therapist wants to do is put you under hypnosis so she can talk to the most traumatized of the" littles" (alters under the age of 5-6) while they play with toys that are dirty and chewed on. I only met with her 5 times, each time she wanted to do a deep dive into the traumas that caused the DID without establishing the trust needed for a traumatized inner child to step forward.

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What if at first it did help, but i now i feel stuck. I don't know if it's because the easy tasks were done and now we're working on stuff that is naturally harder to get through or is it that this therapist can no longer help or was never of help and what helped me was mere coincedence of me getting better from trauma because of time passing. The therapist didn't have any red flags that were listed here. But i no longer feel any progress. I still feel sad or empty most of the time. Sad is a new feeling for sure and the therapist helped me get from empty to sad and sometimes empty, but good emotions or very strong emotions didn't yet come back. Which bothers me, because i feel like i'm a zombie sometimes.

My therapist asked me to work for them in another business they have. I feel like this is unprofessional. What’s your thoughts?

This woman can sniff out the B.S. in therapy. She uses her second pair of nostrils located under her bottom lip! Do you see em!?😂😂

Sounds like her therapist needs a therapist!😂😂

Anna. again on point! I am about to change therapist....i felt guilty, my fault even if it wasn't, sleepless year.....ENOUGH

If I have 30 people I'm seeing every week I'm not going to remember what we talked about the prior week. I will review my notes

Let me ask you, is a therapist a good fit just because she was the only one with availability in my area and I needed to start therapy?

So this is my second time going in for therapy and I saw a nurse first and her office and the first meeting was great. She asked me about my family dynamics and past history. The second meeting she got upset when I got emotional and started throwing her hands in the air, saying I’m not your therapist, I felt she cross boundaries and was not professional. I could see her facial expression and she seemed condescending and both times she handed me a piece of paper with the church and said it was her church where she went and if I happen to see her there just I could pretend like I didn’t even see her say anything to her, which is so odd to me! I wish I could speak my mind confidently and stand up for myself but I struggle with that sometimes, especially depending on situation and environment…

Once again, Anna comes to rescue me 😊 thanks for your selfless content 🙏

Therapists are not supposed to give advice or propose certain actions. You can give them tools and see what they want to do or where they wanna go. This creates codependency and inhabit for clients to make their own decisions.