Codependency and the Addiction Recovery Process

I cannot believe what is happening. I started learning of codependency and addicts back in 2017. I thought that I had made progress. I started dating a different type of personality after a terrible break up in 2017. I thought that I was passed this. I am so disappointed to be seeing that I am still in this codependent-addict relationship dynamic. It hurts me so much to know that I am still being codependent. I am not even sure where to start. I need to do some hardcore reading, I need counseling, I need some help because I am distraught. I must say these past few years I have been a bit arrogant, thinking that I had already overcome this, but as I can see now, I am more codependent than ever. Really does break my heart because now I am a mother of 2, I really do not want them to fall into this dynamic.

It’s when we see the person as the mummy or daddy that didn’t give us what we needed emotionally ! So inner child journey work helps a lot ✨😊🙏

I always thought codependency was just for people in relationships. Ive only been in one, so i assumed u couldn't be codependent since i was so independent. Not even two minutes in and I've already been entirely called out twice. This is so overwhelming.

I flip the switch by telling myself that I am God's favorite and God loves me a lot. I consciously try to be a good person regardless of them. Yes, we are all God's favorite.

❤😢see myself ! Very helpful ,thank you .

The person I’m codependent on set my car on fire and abandoned our 14 year marriage my sister just passed away a week ago and my teenage daughters are depressed and shutting me out I need help I’m doing everything therapy ect this still hurts and is very hard

As a man, it’s tough to admit but I am definitely a codependent.

I’m codependent but I don’t chase the person . I’m obsessed with helping him with paperwork , Doctor’s appointments etc. I even do it with my brothers and people who don’t know how to handle things for themselves . It makes me feel good because I worked as a nurse and social worker . I love focusing on myself but while I do that o like to help my partner then send them on their way. So I don’t have a fear of the relationship ending because I “fix “ everyone . My partner however had the fear of being alone . He’s the one who has an addiction to MDMA.

The good news. We are co-dependent. The good news. We will heal and hopefully teach others how to also. Show yourself grace friends. It was hard really, “seeing myself” but I’m so excited about doing the work to heal.

This is me and yes I saw myself in many people

I just feel like this thing is ruining me, first this was visible when i had a long term one sided obsession on a guy but this time i am doing this with my guy bestfriend and he just feels like no matter even he tries, i am doing the same and i just feel at that moment that he doesn't care abt me even when i know he does, we have been constantly fighting on same things for 4 months , every now and then and last week, it was daily. I don't want to lose him because of this and he is still there he says, but really need to work on this

Can you talk about the effect on a codependent if their main person cuts them off.

“Helping someone that doesn’t want help is an exercise in futility”

Sel esteem works like mckay and or worksheets in therapytools

Decisional balance exercices

I got this just if someone fits into that role of partner or liked person. I've not had really any exes that were addicted or were on and out of jail yet i have a hard time not doing these things. They could be a bad person to be with or a good one, still happens

Look I just got codependent on my girlfriend because she was my first actual best friends I had in years of isolation, and I've wanted her for a long time, I prayed and hoped and waited for a long time to have a solid chance with her, I got so happy blind in love I lost myself.

This is excellent for adults but not for adolescents.

I’m struggling more than I ever imagined. I’ve gone through a lot and the person I’ve been dependent on is in a new relationship. I feel abandoned and lost without him. Hearing this video is really getting to me, too accurate. I wish everyone all of the best here. I didn’t realize there could be so many things that go into codependency. I see how serious it all is. I see how I’ve affected everyone bc mostly they’re all gone. I’m thankful for this video, I want to start recovering.

Does it have to be only addict? My gf just changes on her period time and ignores me. But other times she is just lovely but most of the time she ignores. I am married and i give so much attention to my ex. I think and feelso much feelings for her. I have abandoned and deletws my ex number. I miss her but i think i have to move on. Do you think i have codependency?

Thank you , Doc Snipes! Your presentation is like a teaspoon of sugar that helps the medicine go down! Thank you for providing information to help comprehend the "imperfections" of our human nature. Thank you for giving us tools to heal sooner rather than later.

Wow 🤯 your videos change lives

I’m listening to this i realising how I’m always doing something to avoid truly sitting with myself 🫠 if it’s not a relationship it’s a project that takes up 85% of my time. The other 15% is sleeping

this has me crying because im realizing im codependent and have been all of my adult life. I dont love myself, dont feel i have any real value and dont know how i can make that change. im not one to be able to do affirmations and eventually believe them to be true. it feels like im trying to lie and trick myself. i cant afford therapy but im sure thats whats needed

Number one codependent here 🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏼‍♂️

A really amazing person is hard not to need.

I'm in on and off recovery i believe codependency and adhd are my triggers

Don't talk don't trust don't feel

Very informative and important things to be aware of, thank you.

Al-anon works
It works if you work it so work it you’re worth it 😊

😭 😭 this is so much Me

This was me most of my life with family then I became an addict cuz of my bad choices and the stress of trying to be the fixer and be excepted and loved,man I have learned more in the last 3 years of changing my old behaviors then I ever thought,wow thanku,so maybe you can help me on how to have healthy boundries being a christian cuz I am always scared of hurting others feelings and still fearful of being black balled by people I love and care a out???

This is excellent. Annoy come at better time. God blrss u. Hits hard but need to hear.

It’s horrible to find out I’m super codependent and I didn’t realize it. All of my relationships were self sabotage and that’s probably why it never worked out lol this therapy bill is going to be expensive

Thank you for your time!

This has been more helpful and insightful than anything else I've come across. Thank you

Thanks

It’s gonna be ok❤️
I was in a Codependent relationship with a drug addict, it really hurt me knowing that she told me everything she did, such as loving me (which she meant), saying she’ll be with me so matter what, saying she’ll “try” to quit the drugs, but that never happened. I’m young, and I know everyone is telling me that this is just puppy love and that this isn’t going to be my first heartbreak, but I genuinely loved this girl with everything I had, I gave her a place to stay, I stayed loyal, I skipped school for her, I ignored my day ones for her, and I even turned on my mom. I was blinded by all of this because of how much I loved this girl. But what I couldn’t accept was the fact that no matter what I did and how happy I made her, she was an addict, and being an addict is a disease. You can’t help someone who doesn’t wanna be helped and I’ve realized that after the breakup a day later. I was mad at first yes, but the more I think about it, the more I appreciate that she’s done that for me before she genuinely did hurt me more, 3 months isn’t as bad as 3 years, so I should get over this easily, but at the same time I have so many feelings for this girls I love her so much, but I just need to let go, which is the hardest thing ever when you care for a person. All I can do is accept it and realize it was for the better. It’s gonna be ok, it’s gonna take time to heal. But in the end, I’m gonna find love again (with the right person) and I’m gonna be happy, but as of rn I shouldn’t seek love and I need to focus on myself because I have other things I need to be worrying abt and I still need to get my life together as well, the more I think abt her the worse I feel and guilty I feel so I need to stop questioning and wanting to get answers and just move on with my life. Focus on better things. I shouldn’t chase love anymore (especially with someone who can’t even love themselves). I am strong, and I’m gonna push through this. This isn’t gonna be my first heart break and it isn’t gonna be my last, I’m still young and have so many years to live, life goes on. Life is too short to be stressing abt a breakup. I’m gonna push through this and I’m gonna try to see the positive side of things.

Is recovery from codependency only possible when we leave the addict?

My brother was recently hit by a car and killed. I have felt so much resentment towards my mother for enabling him throughout his life with years of addiction. I thought she was just a selfish narcissist who needed him to completely depend on her as if he was her own security blanket and that she failed to allow him to fail so he would have to figure out how to rely in himself and to build resilience to overcome life's challenges. They had such a toxic codependent relationship and his addiction just escalated over the years until he couldn't keep a job, couldn't do anything right and had no purpose and saw no value in himself.

I see now she was completely codependent and did all the things you mentioned in this video and more. But I still feel so much resentment towards her for doing that to him. She herself is dying and it surely won't be long now without him.

How do let go of these feelings and make up with my mom before she dies?

Also, I know she feels completely guilty for so much of how his life turned out so tragically in the years before his death. How can I help relive her of that gulit before she passes? She is literally in hospice care but still coherent and functional but declining fast.

they shouldnt say that there is one rule -there are a lot of rules

Thank You Jesus

All my life and it's pattern and pattern and do it again!

Thanks!

I a so happy I have found Doc Snipes,very informative and tons of important information I can relate too!